As my time in England nears its end, I've found myself thinking a lot about what I'm going to miss the most. I'm going to miss the creepy plaster face above my bed. I'm going to miss getting Mama Noodle Cups and microwavable chicken patty sandwiches at Nisa. I'm going to miss walking on the bridge over the lake and running away from the terrifying geese. But I know now that the thing that I'm really going to miss the most about this country are the friends that I have made.
As a person with generalized and social anxiety, I have a really difficult time thinking that people like me. I know that I'm a likeable girl and that I've got a ton of friends all over the world, but the anxiety part of my brain is constantly telling me that everyone hates me or that everyone's judging me. I've been known to have anxiety attacks whenever I have to walk down to the kitchen to get some food or walk outside to take the bins out for fear of people seeing me and judging me. I spend a lot of time sitting in front of mirrors reciting the reasons why people keep me around. This isn't a pity call, however. This isn't an invitation for everyone to tell me that they love me. I genuinely know that. It's all very hard to explain, but it was necessary to say to make you realize why the next bit meant so much to me.
Yesterday at around 6pm, I was sitting in my room after a long group presentation preparation session in the library when one of my friends messaged me and said that we were going to hang out in the kitchen at 7pm. I thanked him and went back to my internetting. However, the more I thought about it, the more confused I became. Why were we hanging out in the kitchen at 7pm?! Not only was that really early, but if we ever hang out, it's in somebody's room. However, I decided not to question it any further, figuring that no one felt like giving up their room to host that evening.
At 6:59, I was almost finished getting ready when another friend knocked on my door. I answered it and she told me that we were all in the kitchen. I thanked her again and promised that I would be down in a moment. I re-thought that that was odd, but brushed it off again, thinking that perhaps my two friends hadn't communicated about the fact that I had been informed of this gathering.
When I walked downstairs and rounded the corner to the kitchen, I saw that there were white balloons taped up. I walked inside and heard everyone yell, "SURPRISE!" I looked over and saw that all of my friends were sitting at a table covered in burgers, hot dogs, sausages, crisps, chips, and scones. There were England balloons taped all over the place, England bunting on the rafters, and a great big bed sheet that looked like the American flag and the British flag with "We'll Miss You!" in the center. "American Pie" was playing in the background. I brought my hand to my mouth, deeply touched, got a bit blushy, and turned to leave the room for a moment from being so shy and delightfully embarrassed about the whole thing. (If you're friends with me on Facebook, there's a video of my reaction. And if you're not, feel free to either add me or watch it on the Facebook of someone who is my friend). When I sat down at the table, there was an adorable teddy bear card at my place setting. After "American Pie" finished, we all listened to the Frozen soundtrack and had a lovely dinner party. We then got ready to go to my favorite club, Club Salvation, and hilarity ensued ;)
I am so blessed that I have these wonderful people in my life. Whenever I think about my times in England, I'm not going to think about touring St. Paul's or seeing Big Ben. I'm going to think about sitting around eating Chinese food, those fun couple of hours before going to the clubs, the adventures that took place while we were buying food, bickering while playing board games, and sitting around watching films. You know. The wonderful genuine moments that I spent with my friends :')
Thank you, Flat L, not only for my party, but for accepting me without any judgement or reservation. No one has ever done anything like this for me before. You guys truly don't know how much this party and your friendship all meant to me.
