21 May 2014: Home?

For the past five nights in a row, I've had dreams about coming home from England. Some of them have been rather odd and unbelievable, like the one where Avengers 2 was being filmed at the camp I work at and Samuel L. Jackson was driving me around in a golf cart, but some of them have been so realistic that when I opened my eyes and saw that I was in my room in England, I was confused as to when I had flown back. In the evenings, I spend a lot of time thinking about home. I miss the sound of my back door opening. I miss the church bells. I miss the dog. I miss my American friends. I've been away for so long, and I really miss it all.

But as much as I want to go home, I don't want to leave England at all. I'm not ready to. There are so many wonderful things here that I can't get in Ohio. I love taking the bus into town and getting lost in streets that are older than my entire country. I love going out with my friends here. I love going to the shop here and knowing exactly which brands I like and which brands I can do without. I love learning about the cultural differences that we have with England. I love those little moments when I think about how much I have changed. I've been here for such a short time, but I'm going to really miss it all.

I never stay in one place for too long. Heck, I only live in my "home" for less than 10 weeks out of the entire year! I'm always moving into Wooster. Back home. To camp. To a different cabin each week at camp. Back home for a week. Back to Wooster. Home. Wooster. Home for a month. Wooster. Home. Camp. In fact, York is the place that I've lived in the longest since June of 2011! It's really started to feel like home. I really want to stay here. And the fact that I have to deal with putting everything I own into two suitcases again just makes me want to cry.

Why can't my two worlds just combine?! I simultaneously want to live in both of these places at once. It's hard having so many places to call home. Sure, I miss the Ohio home right now, but once I get back to Ohio, I'm going to start having dreams where I'm back in York with all of my friends here. It means that I have to spend my entire life feeling homesick.

Perhaps I should stop whining. After all, ten years ago, if you would've told me that I have four different places that I call home (home, Wooster, camp, York) and that each of those places has a group of people who genuinely like me, I would've laughed in your face and told you that no one could ever like me that much. I guess that it's a blessing and a curse to have so many places that this song applies to: 

"With 1,000 places I call home, I know I'm not alone."