The more comfortable I become in England, the more I'll chat freely with other people. And the more freely I chat, the more I realize that I shouldn't do that anymore. When I keep my mouth shut, no one knows that I'm any different then they are. The second I start talking, they realize that I'm from America. And the second I start chatting, they're aware that I'm an American.
A couple of weeks ago in one of my courses, we were reading documents about the French Revolution. The leader of the workshop was saying that the French Revolution was the introduction of a free nation to the world and that these documents pretty much laid out what human rights should be. When the class was working in small groups, I raised my hand to call him over. When he did, I felt a bit nervous, but finally said, "Back home, I've always been taught that the American Revolution was the world's introduction to freedom, and that took place before the French Revolution." He chuckled, "You would think that. But really, the French Revolution is the one that has all of the scholarship and writings about it." I wanted to mention the Declaration of Independence, the works of Thomas Paine, and Patrick Henry's "Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death" speech, but decided against it so that I wouldn't sound too American.
Today, we were reading the 1955 South African Freedom Charter. While I read it, I realized that it sounded a lot like our Declaration of Independence and our Constitution. The freedom charter even begins with "We the people." I was also going through and circling bits that are essentially word-for-word in the American documents, feeling excited by my findings. When I shared what I was doing with my friend, she asked me if all Americans have to know about these documents and if we know them word for word. I told her about how they're really well taught in schools and told her about this song:
She told me that that was so strange and that Americans really have a lot of national pride. I found it to be strange that other countries didn't have the same national pride that Americans do, but I didn't say that. Instead, I made a joke about how Americans always get really passionate about the Olympics, and the conversation drifted to American sweets.
When I raised my hand to share my USA document parallels to the Freedom Charter, the leader of the workshop got kind of awkward about it and skirted over it. I'm starting to think that these American documents which we learn about all the time in school aren't that relevant in the rest of the world.
Last night, I re-watched the Disney Channel Original Movie "The Color of Friendship." I remembered that it was about Apartheid and watched it in preparation of the workshop I attended today where we were discussing some of the documents of that time. However, while I watched, I noticed myself relating more and more to Mahree, the 14-year old exchange student from South Africa. Not because I believe that I live in an extremely racist society or anything, but because she was somebody living abroad in another land who honestly doesn't know if she's doing or saying anything that's weird. For example, there's one scene where the girl she's living with, Piper, asks her if she wants to go to the movies. Mahree is confused for a moment, then smiles and tells Piper what movies are called in South Africa. Piper laughs and tells her that that name for it is weird. I've had similar conversations when discussing card games and stuff with my friends. (Pro tip: In England, "ERS" is "Snap.") It's just hard living someplace and trying to fit in just to realize that you really don't.
This is not to say that I feel like an outcast or anything. Please don't get that impression! My friends are extremely welcoming and accepting of me. Just the other day, when we were sitting in a pub, one friend told me that I've really adapted to and blended with the culture very well...the highest compliment that an abroad student can receive. I just know that my nationality makes me feel different than anyone else. I've never been in the minority before, and it's an odd sensation.
I also fear coming home, because I know for a fact that I've picked up a ton of English customs and jargon that my home friends will think is strange and weird. I've developed opinions over here that other Americans might not agree with. I'm not the same girl that I was in December. We'll just have to see how well this new girl fits in when she gets back to Ohio.
American Ellen in a John F. Kennedy shirt on July 4th
English Ellen with a Lego statue of Queen Elizabeth II
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